© Copyright Harleston Grapevine 2011

Thas anuther year slipped by. Afore yu know ut yar owder by twelve munths. Were did 2011 gow? As the sayun gow 'toime fly wen yar a hevun fun', well ull tell yu suffun tergether, I must be a hevun a high ow toime cus toime sartunly fly were um consarned!

Christmus seem tu be a wrappun pearper memory, mind yew the Missus un me hed a noice toime. We definatly dint wont fu grub, in fact um still a plowun threw the mince pies un frewt cearke. Santa wus kind tu me, he left me a bottle a beer, a book un a box a chocluts under the Christmus tree, wen I lookud ut the learble the writun looked distincly loike the Missusus, maybe Santa un har went tew the searme school, yew never know, dew yu?

We wotched the Queens speech on Christmus daye, I thort ow Liz spuk well, git back tu family valyews, seem a be har message. I must saye our gotta agree with har on tha' score. She must a bin a bit lonely thow, cus the Duke wus in horspital hevun his pipes flushed threw, or sum such operearshun. Mind yew shis got a fair sized fambily tu keep har compuny, un yew never know, she mite a bin glad uv a daye on har own, thas noice tu sit quiet sumetoimes, int ut?

Tawkun uv the telewision, thar seem tu been a rum lot a repeats on agin. Tha' is noice tu see sum a the films agin but tu wotch sum on um fur the third or fourth toime, well, tha' dew git a bit teedius. New Years eve fu instunce, on BBC2 The Guns of Navarone, tha' film us fifty years owd, un New Years day we hed on 4, The Bridge on the River Kwai, fifty four years owd. Now cum on, hew ut the BBC thort in awl thar wildest dreams tha' ennywun ud wont tu wotch them thar war films. Thas Christmus toime fur goodness searke, we're a tryun tu spread goodwill un love un cheer, un they put stuff on were people a killun each uther. No, no, no, tha' in't right, I wish I cud dew suffun abowet ut!

Ennyhow, our hed a gud grizzle, sew I fare a bit be''er now. Wot abowet New Year resulewshuns. I spuse yar awl bin full a gud intenshuns, un mearde up yar minds tu lewse wate or give up smokun, maybe not drink su much. Um a gorn a try not tu grizzle un moan su much, the Missus reckun thas gotta stop. I dowent realise um a moanun, us far us um consarned um jest a statun a fact un gettun my opinun acrorss. I reckun wos gotta be dun us fu everywun tu mearke a resolution tu keep tu yar resolutions un then were awl hume un dry.

Fare thee well.